5 months today
You are so strong and definitely know what you want and you are not afraid to give those vocal chords a workout to get it.
You are so besotted with Austin and devastated when he isn’t around, he is normally the only one who can calm you down.
You don’t care for day time napping .. 20 mins a time and only in the pram, but at least you go the full night in your bed.
It would be quite wonderful if Austin would sleep the whole night again, he has at least 2 wake ups to use the potty.
September has been the hardest month yet, I have cried and I have shouted more than I ever thought I would.
Daddy has been doing exceptionally long shifts which means it’s just the three of us most of the time.
Everyday A doesn’t see him he asks where he is, multiple times a day. A has started saying he’s going to work with daddy, packing his bag and standing at the door shouting “bye bye, see you soon” my heart breaks for how much he misses him.
A started nursery this month, I thought I would be OK with it, he needs to have some time with little people now and just play, and I need time to bond with G. Dropping him off that first morning was awful, he wasn’t fussed to leave me, he was excited to make some friends and play in the sand. I felt sick leaving him with strangers (we did settling days which I think are as much for parents as they are for the kids), my eyes shining with tears as he walked away from me. I cried all the walk home. Well, there was a mother running at me in her dressing gown and fluffy slippers asking if the kids go back to school today, I told her I didn’t know as mine was at nursery, this stopped the tears for a few moments.
I didn’t have time to continue my crying at home, it was time to spend one on one with G, she had other plans and decided she just wanted to cry non stop, unless she was having her bottle.
This is a routine that has continued the whole month, I put it down to a 4month sleep regression, but this is just her thing.
Next month I’m going to start going to classes with her, baby massage and the like, things I did with A so they both have the same experiences.
It’ll be good for me to get out and start socialising again too, some days pass by where the only vocal conversation I’ve had is with A and as articulate as he is, I need a bit more.
Nursery has unsettled As routine which is taking some getting used to, he is overtired from the early wake up, long walk and full on morning of play. Some days he won’t nap, even though he really needs it. He is really pushing buttons now and testing me, I don’t want to blame it on terrible twos, but these tantrums have been some of the worst I’ve seen. Everyday they get a little worse and a little longer. The catalyst can be anything from me asking him come eat his tea or not being able to find his beloved Thomas dvd.. My way of coping is to put him in another room to calm down, tantrums love an audience, some times it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes I lose control and shout and hate myself for shouting. Especially when he asks me to pick him up and give him a “kisses and cuddle” because I’ve scarred him.
I have started to see flashes of jealousy from him, him shouting at me, telling me to put G down and pick him up.
For every difficult moment I’ve had, there has been a great one too; A and G chatting and laughing the whole walk home from his first day at nursery, him sharing his toys with her and reading to her.
I’m ready for September to be over and start a fresh in October, we have birthday parties lined up, G’s first Halloween and now my confidence is growing taking them both out on my own, we’ll have a lot of trips to the park in the crisp autumn weather crunching leaves.